Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Posted by Brian

Advice: the smallest current coin.
– Ambrose Bierce

A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
– Ambrose Bierce

Age–that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit.
– Ambrose Bierce

ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
– Ambrose Bierce

Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
– Ambrose Bierce

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
– Ambrose Bierce

Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
– Ambrose Bierce

Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbors.
– Ambrose Bierce

Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.
– Ambrose Bierce

Destiny. A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.
– Ambrose Bierce

DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one’s country.
– Ambrose Bierce

ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.
– Ambrose Bierce

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
– Ambrose Bierce

Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
– Ambrose Bierce

Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
– Ambrose Bierce

For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.
– Ambrose Bierce

Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
– Ambrose Bierce

FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
– Ambrose Bierce

History: An account, mostly false, of events unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
– Ambrose Bierce

HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
– Ambrose Bierce

International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smouldering one.
– Ambrose Bierce

INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
– Ambrose Bierce

Mythology: the body of a primitive people’s beliefs, concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deitits and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
– Ambrose Bierce

PRELATE, n. A church officer having a superior degree of holiness and a fat preferment. One of Heaven’s aristocracy. A gentleman of God.
– Ambrose Bierce

One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
– Ambrose Bierce

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
– Ambrose Bierce

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
– Ambrose Bierce

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forbearance among men.
– Ambrose Bierce

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
– Ambrose Bierce

To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one’s voice.
– Ambrose Bierce

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
– Ambrose Bierce

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
– Ambrose Bierce

When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
– Ambrose Bierce


5 Comments »

  • carin said:

    Hi add these to your collection

    Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.

    Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

    Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.

    Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

  • sunny said:

    The following three quotes are also one of the famous quotes of Ambrose Bierce. How can you forget these.

    Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

    BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.

    Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

  • ronnit said:

    HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

  • jashan said:

    MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhorsed knight that he was mortal.

    One more quote for your collection buddy.

  • caren said:

    LAND, n. A part of the earth’s surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society.

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