Obesity is really widespread.
- Joseph O. Kern

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts.  Coincidence?  I think not!
- Author Unknown

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
- Winston Churchill

If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information:  french-fried potatoes are out.
- Jean Kerr

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
- Jim Davis

I’m in shape.  Round is a shape… isn’t it?
- Author Unknown

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
- Author Unknown

Praise is the best diet for us, after all.
- Sydney Smith

I’ve been on a constant diet for the last two decades.  I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds.  By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
- Erma Bombeck

Food is like sex:  when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.
- Beth McCollister

The cardiologist’s diet:  If it tastes good, spit it out.
- Author Unknown

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
- Author Unknown

A diet is a plan, generally hopeless, for reducing your weight, which tests your will power but does little for your waistline.
- Herbert B. Prochnow

I go up and down the scale so often that if they ever perform an autopsy on me they’ll find me like a strip of bacon – a streak of lean and a streak of fat.
- Texas Guinan

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
- Author Unknown

A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

One day it’s going to dawn on the human race that war is as barbaric a means of resolving conflict as cannibalism is as a means of coping with diet deficiencies.
- Bruce Kent

Before long it will be the animals who do the dieting so that the ultimate consumer does not have to.
- Mimi Sheraton

I think I just ate my willpower.
- Author Unknown

My advice if you insist on slimming:  Eat as much as you like – just don’t swallow it.
- Harry Secombe

I never diet. I smoke. I drink now and then. I never work out. I work very hard, and I am worth every cent.
- Naomi Campbell

My wife is a light eater.  As soon as it’s light, she starts to eat.
- Henny Youngman

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner.
- H.S. Leigh

Food has replaced sex in my life; now, I can’t even get into my own pants.
- Author Unknown

Where do you go to get anorexia?
- Shelley Winters

If food is your best friend, it’s also your worst enemy.
- Edward Grandpa Jones,

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
- Irv Kupcinet

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins.  Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.
- Stephen Phillips

Life itself is the proper binge.
- Julia Child