They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.
- Jerome K. Jerome

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
- Rita Rudner

When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!
- David Starr Jordan

I like a bit of mongrel myself, whether it’s a man or a dog; they’re the best for everyday.
- George Bernard Shaw

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
- Author Unknown

I love a dog.  He does nothing for political reasons.
- Will Rogers

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
- Ogden Nash

I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make them wear little hats so I can use the car-pool lanes.
- Monica Piper

Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot little puppies.
- Gene Hill

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.
- Josh Billings

If you don’t own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life.
- Roger Caras

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
- Roger Caras

The more I see of men the more I like dogs.
- Madame de Stael

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love.  For me they are the role model for being alive.
- Gilda Radner

The dog is a yes-animal very popular with people who can’t afford to keep a yes-man.
- Robertson Davies

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
- Ambrose Bierce

The poor dog, in life the firmest friend, The first to welcome, foremost to defend.
- Lord Byron

I loathe people who keep dogs.  They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.
- Author Unknown

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.
- Mark Twain

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.
- Josh Billings

I am not your dog, but if every time you saw me, you gave me a backrub, I would run to greet you, too.
- Robert Brault

When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
- Erma Bombeck

A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.
- Author Unknown

If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people.
- Karel Capek

Any member introducing a dog into the Society’s premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound.  Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.
- Oxford Union Society

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.
- Max Eastman

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can.  That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.
- Joe Weinstein

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley

Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man, without his Vices.  This Praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just tribute to the Memory of Boatswain, a Dog.
- George Gordon

Man is a dog’s idea of what God should be.
- Holbrook Jackson