If you can accept losing, you can’t win. – Vince Lombardi

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture. – Elbert Hubbard

Beer and Rugby are more or less synonymous. – Chris Laidlaw, 1973

Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers. – Merle Kessler

If any thing goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That’s all it takes to get people to win football games for you. – Paul Bear Bryant

The price of victory is high, but so are the rewards.

The tactical difference between Association Football and Rugby with its varieties seems to be that in the former the ball is the missile, in the latter men are the missiles. – Alfred E. Crawley, The Book of the Ball, 1913

Eat, sleep, play football.

Watching football is like watching pornography.  There’s plenty of action, and I can’t take my eyes off it, but when it’s over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it. – Luke Salisbury

Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. – John Heisman

Football is not a contact sport.  It’s a collision sport.  Dancing is a good example of a contact sport. – Duffy Daugherty

We are inclined to think that if we watch a football game or a baseball game, we have taken part in it. – John F. Kennedy

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I’ve ever seen that I didn’t have to clean. – Erma Bombeck

We (San Francisco) have football weather during baseball season, and baseball weather during football season. – Herb Caen

Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors. – Frank Gifford

If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score? – Vince Lombardi

One of the great disappointments of a football game is that the cheerleaders never seem to get injured. – Author Unknown

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it. – Heywood Hale Brown

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. – Erma Bombeck

The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public. – Phyllis Diller

He was the only man I ever saw who ran his own interference. – Steve Owen, about Bronko Nagurski

Most football players are temperamental. That’s 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental. – Doug Plank

When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately – unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something. – Dick Butkus

I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault. – Jack Tatum

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. – Erma Bombeck

You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four. – Dan Birdwell

You don’t have to win it, just don’t lose it. – Ray Lewis

Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen.  Soccer is a gentleman’s game played by beasts.  Football is a beastly game played by beasts. – Henry Blaha, 1972

Trying to maintain order during a legalized gang brawl involving 80 toughs with a little whistle, a hanky and a ton of prayer. – Anonymous referee

Australian Rules football might best be described as a game devised for padded cells, played in the open air. – Jim Murray