Is man one of God’s blunders, or is God one of man’s blunders? – Friedrich Nietzsche

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? – Art Hoppe

God is not a cosmic bell-boy for whom we can press a button to get things done. – Harry Emerson Fosdick

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? – Woody Allen, “Selections from the Allen Notebooks,” Without Feathers, 1975

Two men please God–who serves Him with all his heart because he knows Him; who seeks Him with all his heart because he knows Him not. – Nikita Ivanovich Panin

The self-appointed spokesmen for God incline to shout; He, Himself, speaks only in whispers. – Martin H. Fischer

Chance is perhaps the pseudonym of God when he did not want to sign. – Anatole France, Le jardin d’Epicure

What we are is God’s gift to us.  What we become is our gift to God. – Eleanor Powell

Everyone ought to worship God according to his own inclinations, and not to be constrained by force. – Flavius Josephus

Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat. – Julian Huxley

Your talent is God’s gift to you.  What you do with it is your gift back to God. – Leo Buscaglia

Young man, young man, your arm’s too short to box with God. – James Weldon Johnson

It is easy to understand God as long as you don’t try to explain him. – Joseph Joubert

God, as some cynic has said, is always on the side which has the best football coach. – Heywood Broun

You are not obliged to put on evening clothes to meet God. – Austin O’Malley

I do not believe in God, for that implies an effort of the will – I see God everywhere! – Jean Favre

God never made His work for man to mend. – John Dryden

Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. – Garth Brooks

God waits to win back his own flowers as gifts from man’s hands. – Rabindranath Tagore, Stray Birds, 1916

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.  Really. – Lenny Bruce, “Religions Inc.,” in The Essential Lenny Bruce, ed. John Cohen, 1967

All that I have seen teaches me to trust God for all I have not seen. – Author Unknown

A lot of people are willing to give God credit, but so few ever give Him cash. – Robert E. Harris, Laugh with the Circuit Rider

God created man in His own image, says the Bible; philosophers reverse the process: they create God in theirs. – G. C. Lichtenberg

God is not the name of God, but an opinion about Him. – Pope Xystus I, The Ring

Your mind works very simply:  you are either trying to find out what are God’s laws in order to follow them; or you are trying to outsmart Him. – Martin H. Fischer

I say to mankind, Be not curious about God.  For I, who am curious about each, am not curious about God – I hear and behold God in every object, yet understand God not in the least. – Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

God made the country and man made the town. – William Cowper

As the poet said, “Only God can make a tree” – probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. – Woody Allen

The glorious gifts of the gods are not to be cast aside. – Homer

No pillow so soft as God’s promise. – Author Unknown