For rarely are sons similar to their fathers: most are worse, and a few are better than their fathers.
- Homer Simpson

It was built against the will of the immortal gods, and so it did not last for long.
- Homer Simpson

I’ve always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is — and it’s me.
- Homer Simpson

A multitude of rulers is not a good thing. Let there be one ruler, one king.
- Homer Simpson

If you are very valiant, it is a god, I think, who gave you this gift.
- Homer Simpson

The outcome of the war is in our hands; the outcome of words is in the council.
- Homer Simpson

I detest that man who hides one thing in the depths of his heart, and speaks for another.
- Homer Simpson

The single best augury is to fight for one’s country.
- Homer Simpson

Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
- Homer Simpson

There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.
- Homer Simpson

You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.
- Homer Simpson

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
- Homer Simpson

I’m having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church.
- Homer Simpson

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
- Homer Simpson

Wide-sounding Zeus takes away half a man’s worth on the day when slavery comes upon him.
- Homer Simpson

I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes.
- Homer Simpson

Do thou restrain the haughty spirit in thy breast, for better far is gentle courtesy.
- Homer Simpson

I too shall lie in the dust when I am dead, but now let me win noble renown.
- Homer Simpson

The glorious gifts of the gods are not to be cast aside.
- Homer Simpson

I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
- Homer Simpson

Even his griefs are a joy long after to one that remembers all that he wrought and endured.
- Homer Simpson

When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.
- Homer Simpson

Marge, you’re as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
- Homer Simpson

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.
- Homer Simpson

All strangers and beggars are from Zeus, and a gift, though small, is precious.
- Homer Simpson

We are quick to flare up, we races of men on the earth.
- Homer Simpson

The minds of the everlasting gods are not changed suddenly.
- Homer Simpson

He knew the things that were and the things that would be and the things that had been before.
- Homer Simpson

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can’t speak English.
- Homer Simpson

Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.
- Homer Simpson