A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.

A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell ‘em to get a life.

A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.

Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can’t retire his experience. He must use it.

Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.

For retirement brings repose, and repose allows a kindly judgment of all things.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

He who laughs last at the boss’s jokes probably isn’t far from retirement.

I promise to keep on living as though I expected to live forever. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul.

I will not retire while I’ve still got my legs and my make-up box.

I’m now as free as the breeze – with roughly the same income.

I’m retired – goodbye tension, hello pension.

If you drink, don’t drive.  Don’t even putt.

I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day.  It’s either that or buy a new golf ball.

In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

I’ve been attending lots of seminars in my retirement.  They’re called naps.

Life begins at retirement.

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

Musicians don’t retire; they stop when there’s no more music in them.

Old soldiers never die, they merely fade away.

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.

Retire from work, but not from life.

Retired is being twice tired, I’ve thought, First tired of working, Then tired of not.

Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.

Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard.

Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

Retirement may be an ending, a closing, but it is also a new beginning.

Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap.

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache… unless you play golf.

Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked.

Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say, “Hi, Honey, I’m home – forever.”

Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment.

Sometimes it’s important to work for that pot of gold.  But other times it’s essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.

Sooner or later I’m going to die, but I’m not going to retire.

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money.

The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

The money’s no better in retirement but the hours are!

The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

To retire is to begin to die.

Welfare is not a retirement plan.

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

When I retire I’m going to spend my evenings by the fireplace going through those boxes. There are things in there that ought to be burned.

When you see some people work you wonder what they’ll do in retirement.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.